Friendships

 Today I spent most of my day reading about bookkeeping and watched videos about frientimacy. I'd like to say that this was a very good day. There were moments of creeping sadness and loneliness but I didn't let it. Instead I continued what I was doing and even danced. I even danced with the blinds slightly opened :D 

I want to be a good friend. Not just people I know but to everyone. That includes people I don't really like, I don't even want them to even see that I may not like them. I want to go deeper. I want real connections. I want people to be and feel seen whenever they speak to me. I want them to feel as seen as I want to feel seen!

Lately I have been letting my fears take over how I listen, how I speak and how I react with others. It has not been a good thing, I hate it. While I am glad that I am able to speak. I just been doing it too much. Probably scaring people off. I know that is something that would scare me. That would actually drain me and want to avoid the person doing it. I know it will be a lot of work and prayer. I think it is worth it though. Just like James 1:19 says. I need to be quick to listen and slow to speak..

I know that I can do this and more as long as it is part of God's will. I am willing to do it. I am willing to be vulnerable while also leaving room for others to do the same. I want to actually be able to encourage others to speak up. The people of this world are precious to God and no one should be left behind!

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